First semester of grad school completed. I am taking a much
deserved winter break and I am determined to relax and spend time with friends
and family.. with no work. This is really hard for me because I like to take
care of things while they are on my mind. I taught a class this past semester
(which I loved. Very time consuming, but I taught a section in my favorite
subject—animal behavior) and during break I received some emails from my
students—mostly about grades and their final. I was told that I was under no
obligation to answer emails right away during break, but I couldn’t help
myself. I have to take care of things while they are fresh for fear I will
forget to address these things later.
But anyway, I have been mostly sticking to my goal. I have
seen a lot of relatives and extended family during the holidays and one
question that seems to come up a lot is “So, what do you do?”.
I get that everybody gets asked this, but most people can get away with quick one liners: I am a dentist. I am a firefighter. I am a teacher. I am something-that-everybody-already-has-a-concrete-notion-of-what-I do-on-a-daily-basis. Not scientists though. We have a much harder task when asked this question.
I am sure my fellow grad students can relate to me here; this
is a tricky question to answer for a few reasons:
1.
How
do I make my work not sound too specific that it sounds insignificant?
One of the first times I thought about how to answer “So,
what do you do” happened to me while on a plane. I was wearing a Yale sweater. Next
to me was an elderly man, whom I could only determine from his accent, was
perhaps from New York.
He pointed to my sweater and asked in an accusatory tone as
if to call me out on wearing a collegiate sweater to a school that I didn’t
attend, “Do you go there?”
Or, maybe he was genuinely curious and it was just his
manner that made it sound that way. I explained that I am in grad school—the
ecology and evolutionary biology PhD program.
He then asked, “So, what do you do?” to which I replied “I
study fish cooperation.”
He laughed.. no.. scoffed. “Why on earth would anyone care
about that? Dear God, I hope that you aren’t getting any money from tax dollars
to do that.”
Okay, my science is like my baby. I just stared at him, baffled at how openly
rude this man was. I thought about defending my research to him, I didn’t think
he cared to hear it, and I didn’t want to waste my efforts. At the time I wrote
him off as an arrogant, grumpy, old man.
People not involved in science tend to think that science is
some mystery potion making, daily-experiment running thing that will result in
some huge discovery at the end. Science is much slower than that. Most of the
time, I won’t be running experiments. Maybe a few times a year at most, and not
during my first year of grad school. Also science is thorough. Being thorough
requires many people to study very small pieces of the puzzle at seemingly slow
rates. The pressure to do big, fast science just results in people making up
data or sacrificing thoroughness to increase their output rates. Smaller scale
science is worth something. I feel that most people, non-academics in
particular, don’t always see it.
Looking back, I should have actually thanked him.. He taught
me the first lesson I needed to know in how to answer “What do you do?”.
Actually, I kind of knew this from writing manuscripts but never thought about
applying it to a conversation with a complete stranger: start broad and
interesting, then (if conversation permits) work your way into specifics.. this
gives people the big picture at least, and makes it more relevant. Although his
approach was harsh, it is a reality that scientists face. I am sure I will face
similar criticism throughout my career. I know my science means something. I
have to appeal to a broad audience and demonstrate why our science is worth
funding. I took his harsh words as a lesson to think about how to better answer
that question next time (and there were many next times).
2.
How
do I determine how much someone cares to know?
I love what I do. I have to remind myself that not everyone
shares this love. I feel that testing
the waters with a hierarchy of answers to gauge listener interest is a learned
skill—one that I have gotten better at doing throughout holiday, family
gatherings. Among these, one of my answers is “I am interested in marine
biology”. This answer is reserved for non-scientists. It has some buzz to it.
Marine biology— I like the way this sounds. I like for people to think I do
something really cool. You know, focus on the glamour of what I do rather than
the nitty-gritty. SCUBA dive in the Mediterranean.. field work in France.. But
“marine biology” is such a broad term.. this could mean anything from ocean
chemistry to counting sardines.
The next answer: “I am interested in the evolution of cooperation, and I use
fish as a model system”. I feel like this is more accurate, however, it is far
more dry to the average person. This answer is for people who ask beyond my
“marine biology” answer, or my typical answer for scientists that may or
may not be in my field. I may go into more detail, again depending on their
reaction.. and my next reason for why answering this question is tricky:
3.
How
much energy do I have to explain what I do?
Like I said, I love what I do, and it is my goal when
explaining what I do to get other people to love it too. I feel like there is
this pressure to prove that this is what I love by being animated and excited
about what I do every time I talk about it. But I am human. I get tired of
saying the same things over and over again to a lot of different people within
a short amount of time. I have a limited
amount of mental energy and explaining biology basics to people with little to
no scientific background and sometimes to those that question the core
principles of evolution is enough to send me into a mentally-drained, much-less-merry
state of Stacyness. Or sometimes during winter break I want just that, a break
from thinking about what I work on and focus on presents and board games and movies
and food.. Especially food.
4.
It is
my first semester of grad school.. what am I doing?
To be honest, I am still figuring that out. What am I doing?
Right now I am learning how to do science. I learned mathematical modeling this
semester and how to model social evolution. I learned how to use Mathematica
(just basics..) and I made a 3D manipulation plot of a model that I made.. this
is my greatest accomplishment so far. Though, I am not sure how good it
actually is. But this model doesn’t really have anything to do with cooperation;
it is about alternative reproductive tactics (super interesting, my advisor
wrote a really great paper on this topic. I will include a link below if you
want to learn all about it!) and maybe I will do that for my research, maybe I
will do this and studying the evolution of cooperation. But I am still figuring
it out. I am told that this is normal for a first year.. Hopefully I will have
a more concrete answer not only for relatives at once a year get-togethers, but
for myself as well.
If you are wondering what I do, here is what I have so far,
though, this may change as I learn more, refine my interests, etc. (taken from
my graduate student bio):
“I am fascinated with cooperation. Cooperation occurs in a multitude of
situations from human romantic relationships, professional relationships,
academia, and even in non-human, animal social groups. Why individuals
cooperate and how individuals choose whom to cooperate with are questions that
drive my current studies in graduate school. Particularly, I am interested in
the cooperation that occurs when cost is immediate, but future benefits are
uncertain. As a theorist and empiricist, I will tackle these questions using
mathematical modeling, and test those models experimentally. Because
cooperative groups occur in several species of fish, and fish are easily
manipulated in the field and in laboratory studies, I will use freshwater and/or
marine fish as model organisms to examine cooperation.”
But then as if “So, what are you doing?” didn’t cause enough
anxiety, it is most certainly followed by, “So, what are you going to do after
you graduate”. But that is another topic for a later time.
http://alonzolab.yale.edu/sites/default/files/alonzo_and_warner_behav_ecol_1999.pdf (male alternative reproductive tactics paper written by my adviser)
